you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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