Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Randomize
