what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
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