So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Also, beer. Big fan.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
