these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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