Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
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