So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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