i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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