You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
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