Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize