I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
