if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I don't think brook has ever known best
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
