sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize