You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
