HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
