I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
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