I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
