When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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