i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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