I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
