i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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