And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
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