3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
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