he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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