I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
she smelled like a LAN party
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
