thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
