mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
