She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
