thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize