Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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