I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
