my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Randomize
