naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
