I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
