The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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