You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Randomize
