You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
where are you?
Hypothermia
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
