the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Randomize
