dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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