Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
