Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
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