operation harelip BJ is a go
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize