How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize