But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
