If that was your dad, he is hot
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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