His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
