I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
We smell like vodka and hangover
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