WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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