the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I checked into jail on foursquare
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
