I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
