The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
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