O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
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