apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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