So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
