hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
There r osticjed everywhere
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
