dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
