Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Randomize
