I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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