I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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