i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Randomize
