Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
